Staying a bit longer…

"There’s a million reasons for you to go / But if you can find a reason to stay / I’ll do whatever it takes…"

For the past few weeks, i have been contemplating about leaving the company i’ve worked for for more than 2 years now. And every time i’m driven to that point where the only thing i’m left to do to get things done and over with is to just submit my resignation and wait for 60 days for its effectivity, the lyrics above seemed to just linger through my space of existence, as if sung by a man i’ve been seeing for quite some time…

yes, there are so many reasons for me to go, and let me relate what these are…

1. Mon-Sat work – i dreamt of an ideal job… one that’s only for 40 hours a week… 8-5, Mon-Fri… my current job is not like that…

2. i wanna go on vacations – May and December are months when people are dying to go to retreats, as these are major vacation months… since these are peak seasons, i can’t go on leave for vacation, as it’s expected that these are the seasons when SALES are really boosting. That means, i should be out in the stores to visit, observe, check out which merchandise are moving or not, get the concerns… etc…

3. No work-life balance – hmm… just a matter of my opinion… friends would mistake me as a workaholic because of my working hours, work assignments and work load… which i am not!

4. I feel underpaid – again, a matter of opinion… i feel that because of my workload (i think my job should be assigned to 3 different people for optimal results), i am being paid so low… (or maybe i’m just feeling it because of my monthly installments in my credit cards, hehehe!)

5. It’s hard keeping up with relationships – sometime last year, i ended my first relationship because one of the reasons was time… yeah, i didn’t have enough time, i guess, for my ex… and now, i am having difficulty keeping current relationships, all for the same reasons… it’s hard to just communicate through email, text, or phone alone… and i’ve been cancelling dates, just so i could give time for my work, for the Lord, and for myself…

okay, so those are just 5 reasons… but there are simply other reasons i couldn’t really relate here…

now, let me give you the reasons why i’m staying…

first of all, let me say that during those times i’ve thought about leaving, I always pray to God that I be given reasons not to leave and make want to stay. I was "harsh" to ask God for signs, which is what i’m not supposed to do, yet i did, and Him as a giving God, he did give me a few signs. All i had to do, and this I know for sure, is to ask, and ask a million times…

1. I’m having a vacation, in MAY!!! – i asked for permission as early as march 31, about an Ilocos trip planned by one of my churchmates… just a few days away from the hustle and bustle of the busy city streets, and just surround myself with the serene and breath-taking views of Laoag, and feel the history and emotion of my roots in Vigan… May15-18… weekends! during peak season! Thanks to God, and thanks to my manager, Ms. Charissa P. Aquino! I’ll bring you Vigan empanada (but then, i’ll have to go to tiendesitas or MoA nalang to get you some… hehehe!)

2. My officemates – they have been very supportive during these tough times… i’ve been giving them signs of leaving, and all the while they are making me realize how big i would lose if i do leave…

3. Office culture – i go to work as if i’m going to school… in my flip-flops, in shorts, in spaghetti straps, in dress over jeans, in the latest blings and things.. in rubber shoes, in backpacks, in postman bags… i can go to the hippest places (that is if i choose to…), see bands strolling in the office (the likes of Hale, Bamboo, Typecast, Hilera, Urbandub), watch free concerts (Fallout Boy, Bamboo in the future…)

4. Field work – who would want to be stuck in the office for the whole 8 hours a day? well, i don’t! so what if field work means i have to go to the mall, and see the same things almost every week! at least you could consider me as the "Mall Directory" with just a few clicks in your cellphone… i can tell you where in a certain Mall the National Bookstore is, Burger King, KFC, Odyssey, Music ONe, Tower records, Powerbooks, French Baker, YRYS, Jollibee, McDonalds… oh,and yes, of course! the Department store, Toby’s, Olympic VIllage outlets, Royal Sporting House, Sports Central outlets, Fusion outlets, and the Supermarket, hahaha!

4. Last but not the least… that one person i could consider special… si… okay, my officemates already know who that is… so why mention it here? clue: namesake of my ex? or just 2 syllables?

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About angelbevz

I'm a girl full of contradictions.
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