>The Loss of the Catholic Christian’s way, and how she found her road back to redemption…

>I am a devout Catholic Christian. I attend weekly prayer meetings, serving through the music ministry. I am also a lector and sometimes a commentator for sunday masses. I read the Daily readings in the Bible. I pray before meals, I pray before I leave for work and while I travel. I believe I am a prayerful person.

Not to be called self-righteous, I really try my best to be a good Christian. To live out the teachings and preachings of the Catholic faith everyday. To always consider what God would feel in everything I say or do. To please and serve my God Almighty all the time. For other people to see Christ through me, if feel the love of God through how I live. I try to live out these things, these principles full time, every time, all the time…

Except for today…

I was short of a Christian turning my back on God. I was short of a Catholic denouncing my faith. I was short of a child of God becoming a force of evil.

Today, I forgot that I was a Catholic Christian. I forgot the values of good morals and right conduct. Today, I let a dark force cloud my thinking and my judgment. Today, I became that one sheep who got lost. The prodigal daughter. The ultimate sinner.

People didn’t see God nor Christ in me today. What they saw was a manipulative, self-centered bitch who wanted all her opinions to be heard and to matter. They saw a hyperactive and ill-tempered hag who didn’t care if she disturbed the privacy of others, destroyed their beliefs, and burst their bubbles.

But then… The goodness and the mercy of God really wanted to get what was His… He retrieved me, His daughter, by bringing to me 2 ladies who were level-headed and mature. The faith, love, understanding, and concern that I lacked, they filled in for me. They cleared the cloud in my thoughts. Their judgment took over when mine was dwindling. They found my lost self and directed me to the road to redemption. And for them, I will be forever grateful.

My apologies to those I offended today. My apologies to those who received my sarcastic and tactless remarks. My apologies to those who felt a stab on their backs. But most of all, my apologies to the One who loved me unconditionally despite the terrible things I did. To You, I’m forever in debt.

To my 2 Ate-s at work, thank you…

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About angelbevz

I'm a girl full of contradictions.
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