An Anthill turned Mountain

[note: this blog is already published in last July 14, 2011]

Going to the Feast last Sunday, I had no expectations whatsoever about the new series and the new topic. I went to the Feast Alabang Center as one of the lead singers then. I had a solo part—a song I really like—and I hope to have done the song justice when I did my own rendition.

The powerful worship by Bro. Didoy was followed by a slightly more powerful talk by Bro. Arun, aptly titled “Move Mountains.” Mountains representing the perception on problems by people not having enough faith: that problems are big, permanent, and immovable.

I had a shallow mountain that day, actually more like an anthill, because it was really just a small problem. Since I didn’t have a pair of boots, I resorted to borrowing from one of my music ministry titas, a pair that, unfortunately, was a size smaller. As I was busy and all mightily praising the Lord and singing on stage, I was able to hide the excruciating pain I was feeling on my feet.

After the three-session service, I led my CG-mates to our session and then had dinner with a friend. After all these, I was finally able to go home, and when I got to my room, that’s when I thought about my grand mountain.

July 11th, three years ago, I started a romantic relationship with the love of my life. I was on a high, I could just sing the theme song of the entire series [ain’t no mountain high enough…] Non-stop. I was at my happiest; I felt like I was the luckiest girl alive. Rarely would you find someone whom you would love so dearly, and would love you even more…

Not until a year and a half ago, this same person shattered my life, bruised my heart black and blue. He definitely rocked and crumbled my world. And up to now, I sometimes cry myself to sleep, just so I could stop thinking about it.

My anthill of a day-worth pain somehow reminded me of the mountain of a year-and-a-half worth of unforgiveness and lack of inner peace. I remember surrendering these mountains to the Mountain Mover, but it was only in general, as it wasn’t until after the Feast sessions did I realize that I still have these particular mountains to shove.

It helps knowing that there is a Mountain Mover who has enough force to take all of this pain away. As I still try to push my mountains, I know I would develop myself into someone stronger to take in the pressures of life. Some people may or may not understand how I am able to write what I am currently going through or how everything went for me before. But one thing is for sure and I think people would agree with me on this: Heartaches come and go, but the Force of God will always be with all of us to help us cope, endure, and emerge victorious.

About angelbevz

I'm a girl full of contradictions.
This entry was posted in broken, forgiving, letting go, remembering. Bookmark the permalink.

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