Post-Christmas reverie

God gave me a talent, and that is in singing. He gave me a good voice to reach certain notes and to sound a certain way. How I use it should very well be reflective of how blessed I am with such talent.

Currently, I use it to serve Him during the Feast, or during masses at the Parish where a Psalmist is required. I have given up on my duties with the Chorale due to schedule conflicts…

Now, people ask me why I don’t join singing contests, or use my voice for a living. Ultimately, I have discovered that I fear the possibility of losing or being rejected. Although I mask this fear, by making up the excuse that my voice range is not for “birit” (which seems to be a qualifier for singing contests), and that God may not want me to use it for profit.

I guess the same principle applies to my lack of enthusiasm to karaoke or videoke: I may be regarding so highly of myself, that subconsiously, I cannot succumb to the fact that I got a score lower than 90 from a machine that shows lyrics and showcases a choice of tourist spots, anime dancers, and half-naked ladies trying hard to act.

Okay, so I haven’t really put myself out there to land me a gig as a wedding singer or a host. (this post pretty much advertises myself already). Maybe there is still this fear that my voice may not be liked by the client, or that I won’t be liked.. Maybe it’s really just a matter of self-esteem.. Maybe I really don’t have what it takes to sing for a living..

Maybe God just wants me to bloom where I am currently planted… Singing for service…

I’m not saying it’s bad.. I just feel like God still has a lot in store for me. I just don’t know why it takes long to cook up for me… And I am reving up for what ever that best is that I am supposed to receive from God.

Let’s just wait and see…


About angelbevz

I'm a girl full of contradictions.
This entry was posted in dreams, Faith, future, Music, random and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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