No, this isn’t a pork or fish recipe… This is a description of how Love is for me…
I am a singer, and, as if dictated by nature, I was attracted to Musicians. I am a rocker chick, so I was attracted to the seemingly “underdogs” but beat influential Bass Players and Drummers. I was considered an Emo, having Mayday Parade, Secondhand Serenade, Story of the Year, 30 Seconds to Mars, Taking Back Sunday, and Dashboard Confessional on my playlist. I loved Chris Carrabba, Brandon Boyd, and Jared Leto (the third, way back “My so-called life”…). And I would love to be serenaded by these men.
However, the guys I seemed to pick as a partner may not have been present when God showered musical prowess on Earth. Though one can carry a tune or so, they all have no knowledge on strumming the guitar, tapping those long black and white keys, or beating out those percussions.
Of the three relationships that I have been through, one made me a bittersweet rocker, another made me tasteless emotera. But never did it cross my mind that one would make me a sweet and sour worship “diva”.
Today marks the 18th month of my relationship with a guy I have never even thought of having a relationship with when I started my regular dates with the Lord. He was so far from my usual tastes, but so much better than expected. (I guess I have written about him before in my blog, but I would never tire talking about him…)
He is younger by more than 3 years, but he levels with my maturity (or maybe my immaturity levels with his.. Either way, it works!). People see him as this unrelenting, nonchalant “Mayor”, but to me, he just makes me so extra-special. Why? To me, he’s the guy who treats me like I’m his baby, in need of his TLC… He’s that man who walks by my side, fingers interlocked, and while looking into my eyes, he would say, “Hi!”, or “Hello!” even if we’ve been walking for a while. He is the kind of a servant who wants me by his side during his service, and sometimes, he’s that servant who wants to hear just my voice on his monitor when I sing for service.
Or maybe what makes me feel so extra-special around this guy is the fact that [maybe] I am equally treating him extra special, right?
Others would see it as chauvinistic, if I’m the one driving and he sleeps on the passenger side. But to us, this is our Love communication. By sleeping, he tells me that he trusts me with his life. And by driving and letting him doze off, I tell him to rest now so he would have energy when he has to commute home from my house.
Others would see it as me being the guy who usually falls silent during arguments or when he is on a rant-page [rant rampage]; and him being the girl who usually asks the nagging questions on “Where are you going?”, “Who’s going with you?”, “What time are you going home?”. But after sometime, we realize that this is our practice for patience, trust, and empathy. We see ourselves in this relationship for the long term, and better to be in these types and levels of situations this early, than later on in our lives, when we have more than the two of us to think about; like when kids, utility bills, and household chores are already in the picture.
I have mentioned my background as a rocker chick and bitter girl in my previous paragraphs, and I thank God for getting me into those interests or situations in the past. It makes it so easier to appreciate something that is so sweet and giddy, and so within reach. It makes me question at times, if I am worthy of such. Then I think about how much I have dedicated my time, talents, and treasures to the Lord. I would say that I have my heaven on earth now, and that I deserve all these rewards as a great servant. Okay, okay, I am sounding a bit too self-righteous here. But I am merely glorifying God through everything He has done and given me.
That includes my relationship with my boyfriend, my Gift from God. Our relationship is a reflection of how God is busily working in our lives.
So why do I say it is sweet and sour? Not because of how one can imagine these tastes, but simply on how we translate it in Filipino:
“Sadyang matamis lang ang aming pagsasama. Yan ay dahil pareho kaming maasim sa pagpapakita ng pagmamahal sa isa’t isa…”
[Our relationship is truly sweet. That is because we are sour in our expressions of love for each other.] – direct but not the contextual translation.