(Perhaps an edited version of this blog, if not the same, was published on the Feast Bicutan bulletin last July 6, 2013.)
The past week has been such a stressful one for me. I came to the Feast with a dry spirit, but with a loud conscience scolding me about a seeming lack in my prayers.
Perhaps for the past year, I have felt that I haven’t been praying enough. I have my Bible, I do my prayer time using the Daily Mass Readings, I have bookmarked composed prayers about work, love, and about gratitude. But I still felt like I wasn’t sincere, and that I may be praying with my mouth and not with my heart.
During Bro. Velden’s talk about Languages, I have been reminded that I can talk to God in numerous ways. What struck me was the thought that what comes from my mouth as complaints, God considers them as me calling out to Him. Whenever I write in my journal, it is a prayer for Him, or just me telling Him about my day.
Another thing that struck me was the fact that God does not measure my prayer based on its length or on the words I used, or on the sincerity of each line. He measures it based on my faithfulness. My questioning God on certain things about my life is actually an acknowledgment that someone out there is greater than these problems.. That this someone is listening to my rants.. That this someone can do something about it..
Basically, God is there wherever I am, whatever situation I am in, or how ever I feel. I don’t need a good script to talk to Him, or be in a certain mindset or disposition when I come before His presence. He meets me where I am. He would just accept me as who I am.
I am now more confident in surrendering everything up to God. I am more excited to communicate with Him with these new-found and recently-realized ways to do so. And it is so good to know that my prayer can come in so many different forms. I can now just bask in His presence and talk to Him anytime, anywhere, and in any way. Truly, God can meet me where, how, and whoever I am.