A Game-Changing Ritual

I have a sweet tooth. Or maybe, I really just love to eat. Though I don’t have a fast metabolism rate, I don’t seem to get very fat when I got to my 20s. Perhaps it’s because of my added daily rituals, like commuting to work, thinking about work, working out (a few times a week), and all the other activities I started to engage in when I entered the corporate world. Oh, add to that the intention to bag my future mate. Hihihi!

Fast forward to almost a decade later. I met my mate, and in a 1 year period, I got married, got knocked up, and will give birth to hopefully a blessed bouncing baby beauty. But mind you, the journey wasn’t easy.

I got diagnosed with GDM (gestational diabetes mellitus) more than a month ago. The picture is my morning routine for the past 2 weeks. At first, the thought of having diabetes was scary, but I was assured by a certain lab test that it was really just related to the pregnancy.

I got a little scared and anxious having to prick my finger for blood samples 4 times a day, and a injecting insulin in the morning. I even joked that, though I no longer have my menstruations, I still have blood going out of my body through 2 fingers (which now had “freckles” due to the prick marks). But other than the pain of the pricks and shots, I have something in me that’s purely psychological: still that fact that, at one point in my life, I am a diabetic.

I am now planning my meals for the rest of my time being pregnant. I have to have 2000 calories a day, divided into 3 main meals and 3 snacks. And since the diet included things that were filling, I sometimes skipped snacks because I wasn’t too hungry. From 55kgs pre-pregnant weight, the scales see-sawed and got to a lowest of around 54kgs. At 32 weeks pregnant, I am at 59kgs. The 5kgs gained wasn’t just all the pregnancy gain. I really lost weight. And though the “single” me would have delighted in the fact that I lost weight and lost some fat from a few parts of my body, the “pregnant-and-future-mommy” me thought it was a bit alarming.

I guess when motherhood and when caring not only for yourself but also for someone who’s life depended solely on you enters your system, a lot of things change. I know for a fact that so many things about me changed. Though still a little selfish sometimes, I think my selflessness has improved (not to brag). My tolerance for pain has increased. My tendencies to over-indulge lessened. My desire to put someone else’s needs first strengthened. My drive to become a much better person is more motivated.

Am I saying goodbye to all that chocolate, cake, sugar, and all that sweet concoctions? Absolutely not! I’m merely postponing my indulgence. I’ll wait if my baby develops the same. We’ll enjoy them together, still cautious about calorie and sugar content, though. 🙂

About angelbevz

I'm a girl full of contradictions.
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